Comments for daylan yay:] http://daylanbms.edublogs.org Another excellent Edublogs.org weblog Fri, 20 Mar 2009 05:02:42 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.2 hourly 1 Comment on i need a title by Ana$tA$$i@ http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/2009/01/15/uhm-im-not-finished/comment-page-1/#comment-20 Ana$tA$$i@ Fri, 20 Mar 2009 05:02:42 +0000 http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/?p=23#comment-20 Oh My Gosh, Daylan you write so well! :) It was really good you used nice descritption, though you probley could have used moe. Thats the only down side I think of for it... It was really good, maybe don't use as much spacing lol! :) Oh My Gosh, Daylan you write so well! :) It was really good you used nice descritption, though you probley could have used moe. Thats the only down side I think of for it… It was really good, maybe don’t use as much spacing lol! :)

]]> Comment on i need a title by shannon http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/2009/01/15/uhm-im-not-finished/comment-page-1/#comment-19 shannon Fri, 13 Feb 2009 06:25:09 +0000 http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/?p=23#comment-19 this is a great story i really liked how you used a lot of detail in the beginning of the story to develop the characters. i also like the way the story ended it was very interesting. i really enjoyed reading this story this is a great story i really liked how you used a lot of detail in the beginning of the
story to develop the characters. i also like the way the story ended it was very interesting.
i really enjoyed reading this story

]]> Comment on i need a title by D.Pinoy http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/2009/01/15/uhm-im-not-finished/comment-page-1/#comment-18 D.Pinoy Fri, 13 Feb 2009 05:52:53 +0000 http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/?p=23#comment-18 Wowwww, this is a good story. Very dramatic, and i like the way you introduced and described the characters. Can't really comment that much, since this is a story where all the main characters are female, but it seems like you are putting what rich women do in their free time- rant, wear expensive stuff, and get drunk XD. Just wondering- Belle, Scarlet, and Alex live in New York correct? That's the way it seems like it. So why did you put that Essence lives in LA, yet they will meet in Central Park in an hour O.O. Ah well, other than that, not sure how much more i can comment. It'll be interesting on how far you will take this story. P.S, think up a title XD Wowwww, this is a good story. Very dramatic, and i like the way you introduced and described the characters. Can’t really comment that much, since this is a story where all the main characters are female, but it seems like you are putting what rich women do in their free time- rant, wear expensive stuff, and get drunk XD. Just wondering- Belle, Scarlet, and Alex live in New York correct? That’s the way it seems like it. So why did you put that Essence lives in LA, yet they will meet in Central Park in an hour O.O. Ah well, other than that, not sure how much more i can comment. It’ll be interesting on how far you will take this story. P.S, think up a title XD

]]> Comment on i need a title by Jaspal'in! http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/2009/01/15/uhm-im-not-finished/comment-page-1/#comment-17 Jaspal'in! Fri, 13 Feb 2009 03:24:17 +0000 http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/?p=23#comment-17 Nice essay, I liked how you showed the character's personality through how they talked, that was pretty cool. I also liked how you added complexity to the stroy so well and naturally. The only thing I see you need to fix is your introduction, I was kind of confused and didn't realize Scarlet was rich and was raising her sister on her own until a lot later in the story which kind of confused ma a bit. All in all, really good story! Nice essay,
I liked how you showed the character’s personality through how they talked, that was pretty cool. I also liked how you added complexity to the stroy so well and naturally. The only thing I see you need to fix is your introduction, I was kind of confused and didn’t realize Scarlet was rich and was raising her sister on her own until a lot later in the story which kind of confused ma a bit. All in all, really good story!

]]> Comment on i need a title by marcosbms http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/2009/01/15/uhm-im-not-finished/comment-page-1/#comment-16 marcosbms Fri, 13 Feb 2009 03:04:09 +0000 http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/?p=23#comment-16 I think the your story is very good, when I read it felt like it was written by a professional writer. I also like the charecters you chose and I could really see them developing. Not many problems and overall a great story. I think the your story is very good, when I read it felt like it was written by a professional writer. I also like the charecters you chose and I could really see them developing. Not many problems and overall a great story.

]]> Comment on listen to your conscience: FiNAl by jaredreibms http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/2008/12/18/listen-to-your-conscience-final/comment-page-1/#comment-14 jaredreibms Thu, 12 Feb 2009 22:37:48 +0000 http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/?p=22#comment-14 Daylan, I thought it was a good essay. You picked a hard topic to write on though. I like how you gave examples of how your conscience works. One thing I would change is that you said the word conscience a little too much in the first paragraph. Other than that Your ideas were very well separated into paragraphs. No run on sentences. Good Job. Jared T. Daylan,

I thought it was a good essay. You picked a hard topic to write on though. I like how you gave examples of how your conscience works. One thing I would change is that you said the word conscience a little too much in the first paragraph. Other than that Your ideas were very well separated into paragraphs. No run on sentences. Good Job.

Jared T.

]]> Comment on i need a title by daylan http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/2009/01/15/uhm-im-not-finished/comment-page-1/#comment-13 daylan Mon, 09 Feb 2009 03:42:56 +0000 http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/?p=23#comment-13 :) :)

]]> Comment on listen to your conscience: FiNAl by Nimarit http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/2008/12/18/listen-to-your-conscience-final/comment-page-1/#comment-12 Nimarit Fri, 19 Dec 2008 20:56:22 +0000 http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/?p=22#comment-12 This is a good essay. It shows how and why people don't listen to their conscience. You did a great job of explaining how skipping school and ignoring your conscience is a loss of freedom, rather than a gain of freedom. There was a little spelling error (instead of "I think they do it because their," replace the THEIR with THEY'RE). Other than that Great Job! This is a good essay. It shows how and why people don’t listen to their conscience. You did a great job of explaining how skipping school and ignoring your conscience is a loss of freedom, rather than a gain of freedom. There was a little spelling error (instead of “I think they do it because their,” replace the THEIR with THEY’RE). Other than that Great Job!

]]> Comment on stupid raccoons by Sarah!** http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/2008/10/19/stupid-racoons/comment-page-1/#comment-11 Sarah!** Fri, 21 Nov 2008 01:39:19 +0000 http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/?p=17#comment-11 I love this line" We waited in a huge line to go see Casey. It was almost like a line to go to on a ride, but not that exiting." thats sooo true and really funny. Its a very sad story and I'm so sorrry about your uncle. I love this line” We waited in a huge line to go see Casey. It was almost like a line to go to on a ride, but not that exiting.” thats sooo true and really funny. Its a very sad story and I’m so sorrry about your uncle.

]]> Comment on it’s my own by Sarah!** http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/2008/09/30/its-my-own/comment-page-1/#comment-9 Sarah!** Sun, 19 Oct 2008 03:03:40 +0000 http://daylanbms.edublogs.org/?p=13#comment-9 I really liked this.My favorite part was when you said "but on one side of my room feels like a different side of me."Overall it was great :D! I really liked this.My favorite part was when you said “but on one side of my room feels like a different side of me.”Overall it was great :D !

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